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65 Responses so far.

  1. RPS says:

    The way that this blog post explains upward comparison made me realise how my boyfriend is definitely on the right track to achieving his goal of success in his business career. My boyfriend explained to me that the inspirational speaker that his University brought in discouraged him greatly because of the fact that the successful entrepreneur had an abundance of seed money to support his business plan. It made him feel very hopeless because that kind of start was simply unattainable for him. But instead of giving up he bought a book that was written by a successful business man who had a similar background to my boyfriend. This type of upward comparison was much more relatable and realistic. In contrast to the business school’s choice of speaker, who was an upward role model that was out of reach, this success story reignited with him and empowered him to achieve his own goal. His actions inspired me to buy the book Jab Jab Jab Right Hook, a how to and reflection of the successful Gary Vaynerchuk. Vaynerchuk a authority in the field of social media marketing. I am striving to become a social media marketing expert myself and eventually open my own advising and marketing firm. This blog post gave me confidence that my upward comparison and my boyfriend’s upward comparison are good tools to help achieve our goals.

  2. RPS says:

    This post inspired me to try to use downward comparison to help me achieve my goal of not being as scared for my upcoming surgery. I should look at how things could be much worse and how I am lucky for my current physical condition compared to people with much more severe situations. This may help me have better perspective and reduce my fears and anxiety.

    • Tristin Tynes says:

      Your comment also helped put my situation into perspective because i too was nervous about my upcoming jaw surgery. Now with downwards comparisons, i can see that i am very lucky to be able to get this surgery so that i can eat properly again, since many other people around the world would not get this opportunity

    • Cloey123 says:

      I use downward comparison whenever i feel bad about something. I think of how lucky i am to have what i have and that thing COULD be worse. If you want to start doing this, than I have to say that it works. If you take a step back and think about all the things you have, you’ll start to appreciate it all more.

  3. homi says:

    It is funny how i always viewed comparisons as being something bad or negative to do while in fact it is good. I always told myself never compare yourself to someone else because they are not you and you are not them. Your journey is not same as anyone else. therefore, it is wrong to compare your situation to another. I realize now that it may have a positive effect on me by comparing myself to another. It may help me see the difference between that person and me, and analyse the situation precisely.

    • Sereena Pigeon says:

      I just read your comment after writing mine about the same thing! It’s almost as if society makes us think social comparisons always result in a negative impact on our self esteem. I too saw things differently after reading this blog and it’s nice to see it in a different way.

      • homi says:

        I think that over comparing stuff can be nagative and depressing. I know someone that always compare herself to others and she has really low self esteem. She always see the good aspects in others but not in herself.

  4. Sereena Pigeon says:

    Before reading this I always thought that social comparison was a negative thing. It seemed to me that if you compare that means you want to be better than someone else or you feel inferior. Now I realize that comparisons can be used to benefit you and even build your self-esteem without taking anything away from the other person. I’ve used this method before without even realizing that it was helping me achieve my goals. In high school I took an art class and I started out horrible at it. But when I compared myself to one of the artists that made the best art I realized that the major difference between us was that she put in so much more time into her art than I had. Once i took more time, my art improved tremendously. I didn’t compare myself to her because I wanted to be better than her but because I admired her talent. From now on when someone tells me it’s bad to compare yourself to others I know to tell them it’s only bad if you’re not using it to improve yourself and to get motivated.

    • Jessica Mills says:

      I’ve done the exact same thing with dancing.the more you practice and dedicate yourself the better one gets. Looking at how others do something to succeed is a great way to become motivated as well I believe because you can follow in their footsteps and get better. I also found that the more I looked at techniques and not just randomly trying to practice the more likely you can achieve something

      • CThompson says:

        I’ve doene this a lot in the past, too. Comparing myself to someone who is better than me, to make me realie that with time and dedication I can acheive what they acheive as well.
        I find people, well the people I’ve looked up to in the past anyway, view it as copying. As if I was a copy-cat for doing the same as them to be as good as them. I don’t think my role models realized they were actually my role models, and not someone I was trying to beat.

  5. AMC says:

    First of all, I would like to wish you and your boyfriend good luck with your goals. Second, I think it’s great that he was able to find a role model who had more in common with him. I guess sometimes we’re not always that dedicated to a goal, and when we see someone who achieved it, but in a completely different, and impossible way, it discourages us. A good goal would be to stop downward social comparison, and only do upward social comparison. To stop wanting to be better than people, and start wanting to be more like them. It’s not always obvious though, when you’ve never heard of the terms, but now that we have, I think it will make a difference.

  6. I, like Sereena and Homi always thought that social comparison was a negative thing. Growing up, my parents always told me that everyone is different and that you cannot compare yourself to anyone else because we all have different goals, but after reading this I will defiantly tell them they were wrong. After reading this I can see that comparing yourself to someone else can be used to your benefit. It will not only boost your self-esteem but can also help you set out for greater goals.

    • Stephane Gaskin PhD says:

      Jenna
      Well they are not completely wrong ….there times to value your uniqueness. However, we do need to compare to know where we stand…extrapersonnally and intrapersonally.

    • Tristin Tynes says:

      The idea of upwards social comparisons actually helped me better understand certain disorders, such as anorexia nervosa. Some people with Anorexia could have developed it because an upwards social comparison they have made with models(or anyone skinny that they perceive as being beautiful). the gap between the comparison could cause a negative effect that could lead to anorexia

    • KatherineRosenfeld says:

      I don’t necessary believe this study is saying that comparing yourself to others is solely positive. It can also be disadvantageous if used in the wrong way and can definitely have an opposite effect and lower your self-esteem even more. Sometimes it can be inspiring, motivational and push you to reach higher goals. However, it can also make you feel weaker and intimated by the success of others. It depends on how you see it, but definitely understand that you are not what others are and should never want to be like someone else. Perhaps others can be inspiring for you, but you are your own person and your goals should not be to mirror someone else. You should realize who you are and what makes you awesome and special. That’s what makes you truly grow as a person.

  7. Tristin Tynes says:

    It amazes me how many people (including me) thought that comparisons were negative or bad. This post helped show that comparisons don’t have to be negative and can actually help to improve your quality of life and aid you in achieving your goals

    • Dumbo13 says:

      I thought the same thing. I wrote a comment about it, and after that I read what other people had written and I realized what I had written had been said by almost everybody! I agree that comparing in a positive way can help improve our quality of life, because for example my aunt is a psychologist. I also want to become a psychologist, so I can easily inspire myself of her career path to give myself an idea of what I can do to get there.

  8. Peace&Love says:

    The social comparison theory is currently present in many institutions involving the behaviours and relationships between students. If we have friends that are currently doing better than us in certain courses we strive to know the “magic potion” or the trick to do as well as them.

    • Melissa Synnott says:

      I can relate to your explanation of the social comparison as in one of my classes last semester I was in a friendly competition with my friend. We are both perfectionist and I think this made pushed myself more than I would have normally and the outcome was actually positive for both of us. We were encouraging each other even though we wanted to perform better than the other.

  9. Peace&Love says:

    The temporal comparison theory can be seen in our everyday lives as well being that everyone should be living for a purpose. That purpose becomes a goal and we constantly do some readjusting in spite of some set backs in order to make sure that we attain the goal to maintain a better spiritual well-being and sense of self.

  10. Peace&Love says:

    Dimensional Comparison reminds me sort of like the awareness of ones strengths and weaknesses.When you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses you are able to improve your “weaknesses”. weaknesses generally don’t have have to be weaknesses. Once you know your weaknesses you can take step-by-step methods to change those weaknesses into strengths.

    • Jessica Mills says:

      this is very true! thank you for pointing that important fact out because it reminds me of how to not settle. Many people settle because they believe they cannot do something this can help remind you that you are good at something and that if you work on something you can improve your skill.

    • CThompson says:

      Very true! It’s unfourtunate when people use their weaknesses as excuses instead of using them as oppertunities to better themselves, or redeem themselves.

      • Sereena Pigeon says:

        You’re right, weaknesses are just areas where we have room to improve. It’s sad that they are so often viewed as negative and unchangeable. This reminds me of something I learned in my Education course, that failure is a social construct and that we should really just focus on the actual thing that we are doing rather than the idea of “succeeding”.

    • JJ says:

      I completely agree with this comment. If you look at your weaknesses in a way of how to improve them and use them in a positive manner, good things will follow. Weaknesses can be turned into strengths if you work on them! I know this from experience; it is often that I am the most motivated to excel in my areas of weakness (in both my academic and social life)

  11. Rachel Mayer says:

    I would always think that comparing yourself to someone else is a bad thing. After reading this, I realized that there is nothing bad with comparing yourself to others because it is a good thing. Comparing yourself to someone else can have a positive effect on you. An example of this is that I would always compare myself to my older cousin who’s graduated in med school. She would get all the attention from my family and I would sometimes think it is bad to compare myself to her because she might be bad at something that I might be good at. I realized now that it isn’t bad to compare yourself to others because it may help me have better perspective and realize that everyone is good at something in their own way!

  12. Rachel Mayer says:

    I can compare myself with RPS because I’m also going through a surgery soon and I would always tell myself like “why does this happen to me” or “do I even deserve this”, so instead of using the negative comparison I I should just be happy with what I have because there are people out there with more severe situations and by thinking this way can only lead to good and reduce the stress I’ve been going through for this upcoming surgery

  13. Dumbo13 says:

    I find this article very eye-opening because I am used to being told that comparing is bad, and that I should not do it. A lot of people tell me to think of what I have and haven’t, and to base my reality on that. I love the quote “dare to compare”. We often compare one to another unconsciously (at least I know I do). I should do it more consciously and use it as a tool for my goals.

    • LingLi says:

      Comparison is often a motivator to help one reach the goal and never hit the plateau, because the other person is always improving. This way, mutual motivation leads to great success, because both are consciously keeping each other motivated and reach goals that they would be content than if they did it alone.

  14. Dumbo13 says:

    I am used to using comparison in a negative way towards myself. For example, I would think “this girl is so much brighter than me” or “my hair is ugly in comparison to her”. This comes from “the grass is greener on the other side”. Now that I know that I can use this in a positive way, I thought of a real life situation in which it could apply. I am moving in a new apartment for the first time soon, and I have no clue how to prepare myself or what I have to do. My older sister moved out 6 months ago. I could easily compare the steps she took to get to that goal, and use them to inspire me. For example, she maybe made a list of what to bring and planned her meals ahead of time to save money. I could use the same method.

  15. LingLi says:

    I use temporal very often to track my progress as a student and make sure I better myself everyday. It is interesting how we can maintain the motivation to progress without deviating from the goal if we set the expectations correctly. I was a avid basketball player, and i remember I always push myself everyday to become a good player on the team, and look back how I was and compare to the present.

  16. homi says:

    It is a fact that most people with eating disorders are the way they are because of constant comparison to models. They envy others so much that they hurt themselves indirectly. I believe that one can compare itself with someone else only to see what he/she can do to better in order to get to a goal.

  17. Jessica Mills says:

    The idea of comparing myself to others has a been negative act because people always tend to look down on themselves when they do. The idea of looking up to people instead by comparing them to yourself and seeing what you can achieve and also by evaluating their techniques to success is also a god idea and one I would like to apply more in my life. However I am afraid that it would create a sense of competitiveness and no longer be about the ultimate goal but be more about beating the other person.

    • LingLi says:

      I guess the important thing to note is to see others competitively, but retain your morals/ values in check. I can be very well competitive, but making sure that my goal is an end in itself and I do not do something that is immoral.

  18. cloey123 says:

    I always thought that comparing yourself to other people was a negative thing. In my mind, comparing yourself to another elicits lower self-esteem because it can often make someone feel bad about themselves. However, this article made me see a whole other side of social comparison. An upward social comparison can also be really good thing. If you have a role model, you can use that role model as a way to achieve your goal. Like the article suggested, it is fully possible to ask yourself what that person has that you don’t. I really think that this theory can work for anyone who is driven and wants to achieve a goal.

  19. cloey123 says:

    Temporal comparison is something that I do but I never knew it did it until now. I am pretty hard on myself and sometimes I beat myself up over it (not literally). For example, I used to be pretty social and could talk to anyone, but over the years, I have gotten for shy and have stayed in a close and comfortable friend group. I am so happy that I have such amazing friends and family but sometimes I wish I could be my old self and be able to talk to anyone. Now that I know of this shortcoming, I am going to use temporal comparison in a positive way. Instead of negatively comparing myself to my old self, I am going to try and ask myself what I can do and how I am going to overcome this.

  20. amber jonas says:

    Growing up, I was always told to never compare myself to anybody else because it is better to be an original rather than a copy. However, now that I’m in the actual process of becoming a grown up, I realize that it is okay to copy others and complete tasks the way they do simply because it gives you a guideline to follow and you can therefore note whether or not you are on the right track. I have done so before and I have found it to be extremely beneficial at times.

    • Gabrielle Lesage says:

      I completely agree with you. I was always taught to not be a part of a crowd; instead to be my own individual and be original. That was when I was younger. Now, I still try to keep that same mind frame, but sometimes you have to compare yourself to others (but in the good ways of course). I think if we compare ourselves to others it should be used as a way to help us get to where we want to go; the world is big and can be intimidating, but by looking at what others have done to get to their goals it makes it seem like striving forward in this huge world of possibilities less intimidating.

  21. amber jonas says:

    It was a rough year for me and I realize now that throughout it, I used a whole lot of downward comparisons. Downward comparisons helped me get through the year because there were times where I honestly thought I was going to give up on absolutely everything but then I would remind myself that my health may not be amazing right now, but I still have a roof over my head, a family who loves me and that people have it so so much worse than me. By reminding myself of these things, I remained as positive as possible. Downward comparisons reminded me to be grateful for what I have.

    • JJ says:

      I feel the same way. I constantly use downward comparisons, which allow me to believe that I have a positive outlook on life. I don’t focus on the negative aspects of life and my failures, instead, I acknowledge the good things in life that I should be grateful for. I am surrounded by wonderful people, I am healthy, and I am granted with many privileges in life. These are the aspects in my life that keep me going every time something negative happens . It is my privileges in life that keep me from dwelling on the negatives and help me move on from my failures.

  22. amber jonas says:

    I completely agree with Dumbo13 and too love the quote: “dare to compare” because I think comparing oneself (with in reason) is a great motivational tool. If you are going to compare yourself to somebody you inspire, a do-gooder in today’s society, it will only inspire you to follow in their footsteps and hopefully inspire you to do good things as well. I truly believe that one should be able to do whatever they want in order to find their motivation; whether it be through staying true to yourself or through comparing yourself to another person… it really shouldn’t matter as long as you obtain what you set out for.

  23. CThompson says:

    I love my mother, but the worst thing about her is her tendancy to compare me to people who are way “out of my league”. They are either much older and more mature in their studies or generally have more time than I do for studying. She also use to compare me to other basketball players, asking me why i couldn’t do what they were able to do. In most cases it was very discouraging. I know that she meant well, but she didn’t realie that in comparing me to people who were far better than I was did more bad than good.
    This doesn’t mean i never try to do better, I just tend to use Temporal comparisons. I love to look back on my past and see how far I’ve come within the past two years.

    • Stephane Gaskin PhD says:

      If you noticed I also mentioned that you need to be careful with the gap. Click on the link and read the other article.

  24. Gabrielle Lesage says:

    I remember in high school I used to compare myself to a past good friend of mine; how she was better at being social with others than I was, how I thought I was less pretty than her, and how I felt overall that I was sort of inferior when compared to her. It really didn’t make me feel good about myself. But once I started college, I realized that if I’m going to compare myself to others I have to do so in a positive way (not in a way that brings my self-esteem down). Now, when I compare myself with others it’s more like ”This person achieved this goal… how can I achieve that goal as well?”.

    It’s amazing to me how one way of thinking (social comparison) can affect you in positive ways or negative ways.

    Overall, I try to not compare myself to others because I don’t want to feel like I did in high school. Now that I don’t compare myself to others in that way, I feel more confident about who I am.

  25. Gabrielle Lesage says:

    Lately I’ve done a lot of thinking about where I was a couple of years ago in high school and where I am now, and I’m always a little shocked because I find that I’ve changed in so many ways.

    Temporal comparison has helped me realized how much I have accomplished since high school. I had a lot going on in my life and sometimes things were tough. Now, when I feel like I’m going through a difficult time I look back at how I was before and how it is possible to change and things will get better even if it doesn’t seem like it will.

    I think dimensional comparison is a great tool to discover who we truly are. By discovering what we are good at and what we have more difficulties with, we start to accept who we are. By accepting ourselves as who we are, we might feel more comfortable in striving towards many things and goals that we might not be going for if we didn’t accept ourselves.

    By understanding who we are, we might have an easier time venturing into the world and chasing our dreams.

  26. MichaelSelinger24 says:

    I found this article quite amazing. In fact, I bookmarked it! This article has helped me understand just how key it is to make proper comparisons. Comparing is an important part of understanding one’s goals and where we stand in the progression towards our goals. As a result, this article has gotten me thinking about where i should be looking for my comparisons and what is considered a good comparison and a bad one. Most importantly, I’ve been thinking about dimensional comparisons. I find myself doing this very often as a way of consoling myself for certain failures and I’d like to learn how to use this method n a more goal-oriented fashion.

  27. MichaelSelinger24 says:

    Gabrielle, i know how you feel. Though this may sound repetitive, the best way to avoid putting yourself down this way is to never look at yourself that way. In other words. don’t bother comparing yourself to someone if you know you’ll feel inferior to them. instead, always look at ways you can maybe reach their level in that certain aspect and learn to live with the fact that you are not them. Rather than tell yourself that you are inferior, always ask yourself “what does it take for me to get better?” In some ways, you can even use your friend’s current state as a cornerstone to getting further ahead.

    • JJ says:

      I can definitely relate to this response. I am sometimes caught comparing myself to others who have accomplished more than I have, or who have done something better than I have. However, I have always tried to keep a positive outlook on life where I try to look at the positive side of every situation.

      Unfortunately, there are sometimes where I am left feeling hopeless. In the case where I am looking for positive outlooks and do not find any, I end up convincing myself that there is nothing positive about my situation, which, in turn, makes me anxious and upset.

      Furthermore, this article has allowed me to recognize that I can use negative comparisons in a positive way and start thinking about what I can do to reach my goals, rather than thinking about what someone else did to reach their goals. Every person works differently, so I have to find my personal strengths that will help me reach my desired goals.

  28. MichaelSelinger24 says:

    I think another version of comparison i use quite often is the temporal comparison. I use temporal comparison to see how i’ve progressed in my recent years. This is often the case when i’m looking at how I’ve progressed with my anxiety. I must say that I have come a long way since the peak of my anxiety and it is because of temporal comparison that i keep myself from falling too far into a state of anxiety when i have my low points. This temporal comparison allows me to compare myself to my lowest points and remind myself that i can only get better after that point 🙂

  29. Eliana Bucaro says:

    I agree with previous posts, I find myself comparing myself to other people not because I am insecure but to motivate myself to do better. In school I use the the temporal comparison theory often because I am the type of persons to look at the present situation so it can benefit me in the future. However, today comparing ourselves to each others has become second nature. People feel the need to be so different because in today’s society we fight to stand out. You see this in school especially in college and university because its only the best students who graduate.

    • KatherineRosenfeld says:

      But isn’t the pressure to be the best a negative consequence? This can be harmful and overwhelming to some, and have serious consequences. Anyone can say that you can adjust the way you view things, but it’s not that easy for some people. The pressure to achieve greatest is incredibly heavy in our society and especially young people experience it. Emotions are hard to control and at a certain level they are difficult to manage.

  30. JJ says:

    Although I like to think that I have a positive outlook on life, this article allowed me to realize that I am often using comparisons in a negative manner. I am always comparing myself to others thinking “why didn’t i do as well as they did” or “why can’t i do what they are doing”. From reading this article, I now know that comparisons are not only negative, but they can also be positive. I can stop thinking “why not” and start thinking about what I can do to get to where I want. I can be greatful for what I have accomplished, rather than acknowledging someone else’s accomplishments.

  31. Eliana Bucaro says:

    In my opinion society has made us criticize everything we do. What ever we do in life some how isn’t good enough or doesn’t meet societies standards. So we compete against each other to strive to be the best and to stand out because flying under the radar isn’t good enough to strive in life. In a way I understand this notion but this causes people to work against each other and not with one another. For me a temporal comparison would be getting the highest degree possible in my field in university. I want to pursue my studies as far as possible with that in mind I’ve had to change my lifestyle and myself because I believe in order to advance and grow as a person you need to make changes to adapt to your future goal.

  32. Eliana Bucaro says:

    I agree with what was said before about comparing yourself with other people , I to believe that comparing yourself to other people is a bad thing however I do see how it can be a good thing because it can push people in crossing their limits to a certain extent. But I do believe an extreme comparisons can be bad for a person’s development.

  33. Caterina Stamoulos says:

    I can relate with JJ, I always find myself comparing what I do or my levels of achievements to what other people do, and it’s not good. Putting myself down because I didn’t do as “good on a test” as another “friend” did just packs my head with negativity and weakens my self worth. I need to stop focusing on others and comparing myself with others and try to focus more on what I can do to better myself and my goals, and how I can better them in order to achieve these specific goals

  34. Caterina Stamoulos says:

    I also agree with eliana, I also think that extreme comparisons can be harmful to ones development and growth as a person. You can’t live in the shadows of “following” other people, you need to create your own future and your own footsteps and create a life that only you can say “I am a unique individual”, because why would you want to be like others? I blame media and our twisted society for these types of comparisons our generation makes. Most of us are always worrying about what other people think, when we should be worrying about what we, ourselves think as individuals.

  35. Caterina Stamoulos says:

    Lastly to add I also find temporal comparison is useful in development because it’s good to compare for instance “how far you’ve come over the last few years in school, or in a certain activity or sport”, using temporal comparison allows one to see how much success they’ve achieved, or didn’t just reach their goal yet, but allows them to realize what they need to fix in order to get to that point. So there are it’s pros and cons to using comparison in ones life

  36. Rachel Mayer says:

    The problem nowadays is that people feel the need to always stand out. I always compare myself to other people and would feel insecure. But now after reading this article I decided that when I do compare myself its simply just to motivate myself in doing better and to achieve my highest goals. I agree with Eliana when she said that this is shown a lot in school especially in college that only the highest and best students end up graduation. I now use the temporal comparaison theory because it is good to look at our present state and that can aid in our future.

  37. Melissa Synnott says:

    Well, this is one interesting blog. As many have already mentioned in previous post,I also tended to think negatively of comparisons as the only concrete examples that came to my mind were the ones when people or even myself sometimes make use of them to feel better about themselves (social comparison). However,now that I think about it, I really like the temporal comparison and feel like I’ve used it unconsciously in a way to put things under perspective and see where I improved or regressed. I think the temporal comparison would be the most useful to achieve my goals, because it the most encouraging.

  38. Melissa Synnott says:

    Also, I feel like the dimensional comparison is somehow similar to the social one because you can use it in the same way: to feel better about yourself, but without undermining someone else. It is encouraging because it looks for the individual strenghts in order to balance with the weaknesses.

  39. As soon as i finished reading this blog it reminded me right away about when i was around 13 years old and i used to go kart and i used to always practice with my team mate and most of the time he would get better lap times than me and this just referred to upward comparisons because my coach told me to sit out one day and watch what he does and try to learn from it. This made me a better driver and from that day on i was never second for lap times. Also while i was sitting out i was thinking to myself what is he doing that I’m not ? and this improved my driving a lot !

  40. Dimensional Comparison helped me get through last semester because i was doing very bad in two of my classes and i thought i was going to fail them completely. I would always be embarrassed when i had to tell my mother my marks. When i would tell her i failed my midterm she would get all mad but i would then be like i got 80% overall on my humanities exam. I would always use another class to back up my failures. I then decided to get a tutor and study more because if i could do it for my other classes then i could do it for these two & i ended up passing the classes.

  41. I can relate to Temporal Comparison Theory because about 2 years ago i would be able to play a full soccer game without coming off and last year when i started again i wasn’t able to do that because i was out of shape. I asked myself why i wasn’t able to do what i was doing 2 years ago & i decided to start running every night to help me get my stamina back and after two weeks i can see improvements and me not getting tired as fast anymore.

  42. KatherineRosenfeld says:

    What a better way to look at yourself than before! I personally believe that comparing yourself to others is more damaging than positive because it has the ability to tear you down and make you more insecure about what you can achieve. People should focus on themselves and what they see themselves able to execute and achieve. I guess being inspired by others is a good motivator, I just feel this can have negative ramifications for those who are more sensitive or insecure about themselves.

  43. KatherineRosenfeld says:

    I agree! Self-discovery is one of the most helpful and enlightening journey anyone can experience. It really helps you create a better awareness of yourself in order to be successful and accomplish your goals. How can people become motivated to take that journey? That is what I have been thinking about lately. Knowing yourself is sooo helpful and I believe that it makes you more susceptible to achieve your dreams and desires.